Loyalty is a vanishing commodity in today's world but it's importance cannot be overstated. While corporations shed employees at will or employees jump ship at the first appealing opportunity, loyalty has become increasingly elusive. Loyalty is for the good times, the bad times, and for those times where staying loyal seems to be at odds with your own best personal interests.
There are no degrees of loyalty. Whether it's fidelity in marriage, loyalty on the job, or the "I've got your back" mentality of friendship, loyalty is an all-in proposition. I'm a little guy, but in a fight you can count on me to have your back for whatever that counts for. I've spent 26 years on the same job through plenty of adversity that could've sent me looking for greener pastures but I didn't go. I don't backstab and I often assume blame that belongs to others. After 25 years of marriage, I'm still happily married and my wife can count on me to remain loyal despite whatever temptation may come my way.
Loyalty must be an equally balanced equation. Real loyalty is earned through the implicit understanding of that reciprocity. People often expect loyalty but aren't prepared to give it. A betrayal of loyalty was actually the catalyst for my Grinder experience. I demonstrated my sense of loyalty by remaining loyal even after the betrayal. That was an extremely tough course of action but it has turned out to be the right decision.
Loyalty is my own code of ethics. It helps maintain my dignity. It helps maintain my integrity, reliability, dependability, and trustworthiness when life makes things murky. Loyalty is what compels me to travel the more difficult road when an easier one is readily available. Loyalty is the glue that binds my Cornerstones together.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Monday, February 18, 2013
Patience: Cornerstone #6
Patience is probably one of life’s hardest and most
important lessons. It's an important avenue to clarity. Lack of patience undermines everything else you do. To learn patience…well, you have to be patient. It's the same Catch-22 as developing discipline.
True patience is hard to attain because it competes against so many of your other emotions. Emotions that can unleash themselves in a hurry and without restraint if you’re not paying close attention. I adopted my axiom of Choose Your Reaction as a mechanism to help me be more patient. I tend to be highly opinionated and controlling. I've found out the hard way what a bad combination that is! My solution was to try to eliminate the emotional component in many of my responses.
Of all the Cornerstones, I struggle with Patience the most. I simply don't have much... but I've chosen to be patient as I slowly learn to have more.
True patience is hard to attain because it competes against so many of your other emotions. Emotions that can unleash themselves in a hurry and without restraint if you’re not paying close attention. I adopted my axiom of Choose Your Reaction as a mechanism to help me be more patient. I tend to be highly opinionated and controlling. I've found out the hard way what a bad combination that is! My solution was to try to eliminate the emotional component in many of my responses.
Of all the Cornerstones, I struggle with Patience the most. I simply don't have much... but I've chosen to be patient as I slowly learn to have more.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Sacrifice: Cornerstone #5
Sacrifice is usually one of the hardest, though most important things you can do. It means putting someone else's needs before your own. I get my sense of sacrifice from my parents. Growing up during The Great Depression, they made sacrifices unfathomable to most of us living today. Those sacrifices continued in their desire to give the best opportunities to their children - no doubt an effort to best equip us to succeed and overcome hardship in our lives. My parents are now deceased but their example of sacrifice has been a vital component in my own approach to living life. I know I can do better though - like I said, sacrifice isn't always easy.
Of course, sacrifice extends beyond your own family. There is an equally important societal obligation. That aspect became clearer to me as I reached middle age. Basically, it's the old adage of "you reap what you sow." As a society we're in difficult times right now. It's important to find a way to contribute positively to the lives around us. It goes beyond just not being selfish - it means going that extra step. It might mean devoting time, money, or whatever to improving someone else's fortunes but certainly, it will involve personal sacrifice.
Of course, sacrifice extends beyond your own family. There is an equally important societal obligation. That aspect became clearer to me as I reached middle age. Basically, it's the old adage of "you reap what you sow." As a society we're in difficult times right now. It's important to find a way to contribute positively to the lives around us. It goes beyond just not being selfish - it means going that extra step. It might mean devoting time, money, or whatever to improving someone else's fortunes but certainly, it will involve personal sacrifice.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Determination & Perseverance: Cornerstones #3 and #4
Determination. Perseverance. I decided to combine the discussion of these two Cornerstones because they go hand in hand and the differentiation between them might otherwise be misunderstood. I often think of them as the same myself but they are actually distinct. You can be determined and not persevere. Similarly, you can persevere but not be determined. Think about it a second...you can set a goal or believe in an outcome (process of determination) but then never do anything towards achieving it or give up after trying (lack of perseverance) , or conversely, you can continue heroically through numerous failures (process of perseverance) with no real understanding of the goal you're after or even believing you can achieve the goal to begin with (lack of determination.)
I wrote in a previous post, "doing begins by believing." Determination is "believing" and Perseverance is "doing." That's the easiest way I know of keeping the principles straight in my head. The obvious power of these principles is in their combination.
I wrote in a previous post, "doing begins by believing." Determination is "believing" and Perseverance is "doing." That's the easiest way I know of keeping the principles straight in my head. The obvious power of these principles is in their combination.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Faith: Cornerstone #2
No matter how determined and focused, everyone falters occasionally. That's where the importance of Faith comes in. It doesn't really matter what your particular faith is - only that it is strong enough to rely on when doubt sets in and robs you of necessary confidence to persevere. Sometimes, hope and trusting in something beyond yourself is all you'll have left. If Discipline is for what you can control, Faith is for all that you can't.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Discipline: Cornerstone #1
Discipline is the cornerstone of the Cornerstones. Important in its own right, it is an essential component to the effectiveness of my other Cornerstones. I believe it is the foundation of success. For me, nearly everything comes back to proper discipline.
Developing and establishing your own personal discipline is tricky, however, because to do so requires discipline. It probably will be difficult at first (which should be expected) but if you can commit to stick with developing a habit of discipline, it will be the habit that defines all your other habits.
I discovered my own principle of discipline while studying martial arts. Without consciously knowing it, I began to apply the same type of discipline to other life pursuits. The benefits surprised me and when I realized what I had unconsciously applied, I quickly adopted Discipline as the key to achievement. But for it to work, you must be unwavering. Remember when I mentioned not going all the way to the bottom of the barrel before getting a grip? Some call it willpower, but even willpower needs discipline. That's my sense of discipline. For instance, I woke up one day and decided to quit smoking. No aids, no delays, no wishy-washy attempts - just purpose. I took the same exact approach to drinking. I just stopped completely - no gradual degrees of drinking less. Singular purpose and commitment. That's the habit of Discipline.
Discipline is a habit like any other. Ingrained, it can be a powerful determinant of your other habits. Unpracticed or neglected, it's effectiveness wanes. To help maintain mine, my mantra is, "No Excuses...ever." Devise an action plan and follow it until the goal is achieved. You must want to achieve the goal. You must remind yourself you have a plan to follow. No excuses. Singular purpose. Discipline.
Developing and establishing your own personal discipline is tricky, however, because to do so requires discipline. It probably will be difficult at first (which should be expected) but if you can commit to stick with developing a habit of discipline, it will be the habit that defines all your other habits.
I discovered my own principle of discipline while studying martial arts. Without consciously knowing it, I began to apply the same type of discipline to other life pursuits. The benefits surprised me and when I realized what I had unconsciously applied, I quickly adopted Discipline as the key to achievement. But for it to work, you must be unwavering. Remember when I mentioned not going all the way to the bottom of the barrel before getting a grip? Some call it willpower, but even willpower needs discipline. That's my sense of discipline. For instance, I woke up one day and decided to quit smoking. No aids, no delays, no wishy-washy attempts - just purpose. I took the same exact approach to drinking. I just stopped completely - no gradual degrees of drinking less. Singular purpose and commitment. That's the habit of Discipline.
Discipline is a habit like any other. Ingrained, it can be a powerful determinant of your other habits. Unpracticed or neglected, it's effectiveness wanes. To help maintain mine, my mantra is, "No Excuses...ever." Devise an action plan and follow it until the goal is achieved. You must want to achieve the goal. You must remind yourself you have a plan to follow. No excuses. Singular purpose. Discipline.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Write 'Em Down
It's that time of the year again. Resolution review. As I get ready to set new goals and make new resolutions for the upcoming year, it's important for me to examine how I fared on last year's aspirations. Like many other people, I almost always fail miserably on at least one goal or resolution I set for myself. For instance, this year I was supposed to re-learn playing guitar. With just 8 days left in the year, the guitar remains standing untouched in the corner. I suppose that goal will be added to this year's list again.
This year's list. Yes, it's an actual written list, as it has been for the past 25 years. It's proven that writing down your goals is vitally important to actually achieving them. So, whatever it is you're contemplating to accomplish next year, write 'em down! Periodic review throughout the year is recommended to ensure steady progress, measure results, and adjust objectives if necessary.
I try to keep my list as simple and specific as possible. I actually strive for a few specific personality improvements and then a handful of personally meaningful, challenging but achievable goals I wish to reach. If I succeed at one of them, I can cross it off and add something new. If I fail, like with the guitar, I can carry it forward or decide it's no longer a priority and take it off the list. In other words, keep your list manageable. If you put everything on your list all at once, you'll undoubtedly feel overwhelmed and struggle harder to achieve anything - often leading to complete surrender. How many people do you know who fail in their resolutions year after year? Find success - write 'em down, be reasonable and specific in your expectations, and include easily achievable goals to help build confidence for the more challenging goals.
To enjoy success and stay actively focused on your goals involves one essential element. Discipline. That's my first and most important Cornerstone. Stay tuned - I'll begin discussing each cornerstone in more depth as the week progresses. For now, start thinking about your list of objectives and write 'em down!
Merry Christmas!
This year's list. Yes, it's an actual written list, as it has been for the past 25 years. It's proven that writing down your goals is vitally important to actually achieving them. So, whatever it is you're contemplating to accomplish next year, write 'em down! Periodic review throughout the year is recommended to ensure steady progress, measure results, and adjust objectives if necessary.
I try to keep my list as simple and specific as possible. I actually strive for a few specific personality improvements and then a handful of personally meaningful, challenging but achievable goals I wish to reach. If I succeed at one of them, I can cross it off and add something new. If I fail, like with the guitar, I can carry it forward or decide it's no longer a priority and take it off the list. In other words, keep your list manageable. If you put everything on your list all at once, you'll undoubtedly feel overwhelmed and struggle harder to achieve anything - often leading to complete surrender. How many people do you know who fail in their resolutions year after year? Find success - write 'em down, be reasonable and specific in your expectations, and include easily achievable goals to help build confidence for the more challenging goals.
To enjoy success and stay actively focused on your goals involves one essential element. Discipline. That's my first and most important Cornerstone. Stay tuned - I'll begin discussing each cornerstone in more depth as the week progresses. For now, start thinking about your list of objectives and write 'em down!
Merry Christmas!
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